I feel like I’ve been the ball in a pinball machine: sprung into an unknown environment and bouncing off hard surfaces with random but influential angles and impacts. At other times, I’ve seemingly reached the high point of a thinking curve, only to find that momentum disappears and some almost crystallised thought drops away and collects with all the other partially formed thoughts in an abyss of elusiveness.
My supervisory panel have listened patiently to my monthly attempts to deliver a coherent explanation of life in the pinball machine, with all its unpredictable tangents, rapid changes of direction and variable speed. “Hey, this bright, shiny theoretical perspective looks great, let’s pull this red knob and give it a try”. My panel are knowledgeable, and experienced people. There will be an “Ah, ha” moment, they promise. I trust them, really I do. But, so far, some invisible hand has been in control, not I. I am assured all this is normal, though I think I detect some of my own exasperation mirrored in their eyes.
More recently, I’ve been feeling that the ball and I have got stuck down in some black hole. But not to worry, I checked out the web today to help me get a better perspective on the pinball machine and fix the problem And I kid you not there is a page* with a 4-step process to get a pinball machine working properly: 1) figure out if it’s older or newer (I think we all know the answer to that), as newer machines will apparently sort themselves out if you give them a few seconds; 2) older machines are not programmed to do this so you should try shaking the machine (the page advises that if you do this with newer machines, they will shut off!); 3) ask for help; and 4) remember that if you own it, it’s up to you to fix it. This is an uncannily similar process to my recent real-life discussions with a couple of my supervisors who delivered some conciliatory messages about the age of the machine but obligingly gave it a serious nudge. The outcome? I feel like the ball is unstuck; however, I’m not ruling out tangential and roller coaster thinking just yet.
*A wiki ‘how to do anything’ page, if you need to follow up yourself.
parrygraphs 
you will get there one step at a time…. xx
Of course I will. But no harm in having a bit of a light-hearted look at my efforts thus far! xkx
What a great analogy I’ll give that some thought in relation to my life.
Hum, do we need to chat? So funny finding the 4 steps on the web. Very apt. Maybe you can find some solutions there, too! xkx
Karen,
Great to hear you’ve embarked on that PhD…….I’m sure you’ll complete it with your usual acumen.
Have a very successful new year,
Cheers, Rick
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Yes, I will get there. But you know me, always a bit of a roller coaster along the way. Have been making great strides since drawing the picture and writing accompanying words. Cathartic. Should do it more often.
I hope you have a fabulous year and no doubt you have some great trips planned.
Best,
Karen